Anti Social

I think some people have the impression that since BC's birth, my little family has become anti social. Please let me correct this misconception.

First of all, I know that BC for the most part is a happy baby - but note the "for the most part" part. He is still a baby, and believe me, he has a fussy side. His cry is so loud that it makes my ears ring. He turns red. It is horrible to watch - and very embarrassing in public. He is an active boy, so he does not like to be in one place for very long - and when he is ready to move, he lets you know.

"Mom won't give me her cell phone to chew on."

Our doctor recommended that BC and I stay "in seclusion" for six weeks after he was born. We did that. Call my Heroic Husband and me overprotective, but hey, it is our first baby - and I am a little bit of a germaphobe. We really did not take BC anywhere. If we went to a store, either HH or me would stay in the car with BC while the other shopped. I remember the first time BC went into a store with us - Office Depot at an off time during the day - and we had him covered up completely in the car seat.

Once the six weeks were up, we took BC to church for the first time. We kept him with us the whole time. It is not that we did not want anyone holding him, it is just that once one person holds him, everyone wants to hold him. And then, you have a little baby being tossed around. HH and I decided it would be better for us to hold him for now. Come over to our house, and you can hold him as long as you would like : )

We have been invited out to eat with several people, and yes, we asked for a rain check. BC does not do restaurants well. We tried it - once - and let's just say it ended with me stuffing an entire salad into my mouth, while HH tried to calm down a screaming baby - and then me feeding BC in the car, while HH finished his lunch all alone inside the restaurant. Everyone around us was staring. It was bad.

BC can go from smiling to screaming in 2.5 seconds.
These pictures were literally taken one minute apart.

I know what you are thinking. Why didn't you just feed BC before? Well, I did. This kid eats ALL the time. Literally, you can set your watch by him. At one and a half hours after the start of his last feeding, he starts to get grumpy. At two hours, he is getting fussy. At two and half, he is at critical mass. BC refuses to take a bottle, and I am not the kind of gal who can feed him in public. Thus, if I feed BC before we leave for a restaurant, by the time we get our food, he is ready for his next meal - and then no one gets to eat.

However, there is good news! BC is rolling around like crazy and trying to crawl. Now that he can move a little, it makes life a little easier. BC is also very interested in our food now, so we can eat at other people's houses, and he will sit in our laps - and try to steal our dinner. AND, our doctor has told us to start solid food! So, hopefully, the occasional restaurant will be "on the menu" for us soon!

I promise we are not anti social. We just have a baby : )

We LOVE to have company, so PLEASE, COME OVER and play with this sweet baby boy : )

Who Needs Sleep?

"I'll sleep after the baby is born."

I said that many a time while I was pregnant with BC. Between working at the beginning of my pregnancy, packing in the middle, and settling in to a new home at the end, I really never had time to "rest." I did take naps in the fitness center at my office during the first trimester, but that was about it.

After the baby was here, I realized that once again, sleep was not on the menu. If I took the advice, "sleep when the baby sleeps," I would have slept all day and stayed up all night - and that is not what needed to be done.

For a while, I was just tired... or to be completely honest, exhausted. Being a mom is a full-time job - and being a breastfeeding mom adds even more - and being a breastfeeding mom to a very slow eating newborn who wanted food every two hours (example: start at 2, end at 3:30, ready again at 4), was even more tiring! (At four months, BC still wants food every two hours, but the feeding time has decreased to 30 - 45 minutes.)

And then came the stage where BC's naps were not as easy as 1-2-3. BC decided that the only place to nap was in my arms - which is so sweet, and I loved accommodating him - but there were days, where we just sat on the couch ALL DAY. I knew this could not go on indefinitely. Eventually, even in the middle of the night, the only place BC would sleep was in my lap, which meant even less sleep for momma.

I have read a lot about baby schedules, sleep training, etc. Now, I am personally not a fan of schedules for babies. I love to have a schedule for myself, but as I wrote a few weeks ago, God has used BC to start breaking me from that "need." I feed BC on demand, he naps when he is tired (well, to an extent) - as in he does not have a nap time - he goes to bed when he cannot stay awake any longer, and he wakes up in the morning when he is ready.

I am also not a fan of the infamous "cry it out" method of getting your baby to sleep. I know it works for lots of parents and babies - and if it works for you, hooray! - but that is just not my cup of tea. However, I did need to come up with some kind of sleep training program - starting the day at 4:30am just because BC did not want to be in his bed anymore was not working.

My sweet Heroic Husband hates to hear BC cry. He just cannot bare to hear his son upset (it is really cute when he hands off crying BC to me to calm him down, waits close by, and then swoops up happy BC to play with him : ) However, in order to train BC to put himself sleep, there were going to be some tears. 

The opportunity finally arrived last week while HH was at a Christian summer camp. BC and I went to my Phenomenal Parents' house for the week. The first night, I asked if they could take some rough nights in an attempt to get BC (and me) to sleep better. They graciously agreed. But how should I start?! My Marvelous Mother reminded me of a Fantastic Facebook friend who had posted about her sleep training experience with her son. It had worked for her, so I decided to try it.

Rather than laying BC down and walking away to let him cry himself to sleep, I laid him down, turned on his giraffe sound soother, gave him a pacifier, and placed his favorite giraffe stuffed animal in his little arms. I turned down the lights as he began to wail. Then, I knelt down by the pack-n-play and caressed his head, patted his tummy, talked to him, and sang soothing songs. Although he did not like not being in my lap, he knew he was not being abandoned. He looked up at me with pleading eyes, but I gently told him it was OK, and time to go to sleep.

That first night was rough. It took two hours to get BC to sleep. Then, another two hours after he woke up in the middle of the night for a snack. He eventually did put himself to sleep though.

The next night, only took forty-five minutes - and about fifteen minutes at his middle of the night feeding.

The third night took fifteen minutes - and about five in the middle of the night.

By the end of the week, I was feeling rested for the first time in a long time. Seth was happy. My parents were not being kept up all night. I was skeptical of how BC would transition from my parents' house to my house. The first night in his crib, he slept like a champ. One night, he even slept from 10:30pm to 6:30am solid!

I know that not every night will go as well as others. I know there will be hard naps and nights. But, I also know that my little four month old knows how to put himself to sleep. He can sleep for long stretches of time. He does not have to scream. He is slowly turning into a "civilized" baby.

Proverbs 19:23 The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied...

Now that our little family is home together again, we are enjoying our new bedtime routine. HH still gives BC his nightly bath. While I nurse BC into dreamland, HH reads to us out of BC's baby Bible (we started this while I was still pregnant). Then, HH and I lay our sweet baby down in his crib, and watch him fall asleep. These little family moments are the best.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Time

Where has the time gone? It is the middle of summer - little BC is almost four months old - my Heroic Husband and I have been living in SET for six months - I still have not put up the baby mobile - it has been months since I last sat down to write a blog. Where has the time gone?!

 

This morning, at our 2:30am feeding - no, BC does not sleep through the night yet, but I will take one middle of the night feeding over four - I read in my Bible Study:

"It is good in the morning to fix upon work for the day, with submission to Providence, for we know not what a day may bring forth." - Matthew Henry

This is very applicable to my life right now.

Yesterday, HH asked me to do a few things for him while he was at work. I told him that I would do them, and I would try to have them completed by lunch, but could not make any promises. My days cannot be planned completely down to a "T."

I love being an at-home mom, and my day revolves around just that - being a mom. BC has changed so much in the last few months! I admit, although I cherished the early days, I am glad the colicky days are behind us. I usually get to brush my teeth before lunch now : ) But BC still has fussy days. He is a very happy baby 90% of the time - but we do have that rather unhappy 10% too. We have days, like today, where all BC wants to do is sleep. We also have days like yesterday, where BC goes the entire day refusing to take a nap, unless he is on my lap.

I love to make lists and have a schedule. Yes, I was "that kid" who had a schedule to follow at my birthday parties. Often, I get pretty upset when my day deviates from my schedule. God has really been breaking me of this since BC was born. I just cannot physically stick to my lists. HH, BC, and I would all be miserable.

I wrote a while back about my plan to get one chore a day completed. That is still my goal. Some days, that chore is simply getting all the dishes washed before HH comes home from work. Other days, I get multiple chores done.

Lots of people have asked why I do not "go out" very often without BC (I have only left him three times in the last four months). Well, for one thing, as a nursing mom, someone is calling for me every two hours : ) But even more so, I love being BC's mom. I love being with him. I love being able to (or at least trying to) meet his needs. I am sure I could "make time" to go out, but I really do not want to. HH and I love spending our time as a family unit. We love to go to a nearby park and run together. We love to go grocery shopping together. We love to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie together.  Do I need "a break" sometimes? Sure. But I do not need a break from being BC's mom. My "breaks" consist of baby play-mat time, while I exercise nearby. Nap times, when I get to run around and do as many things as I possibly can, are also great breaks. Listening to BC "tell" HH all about his day while I whip up some dinner, is probably my favorite break.

God gave me the amazing job of being BC's mom. And I will only be the mom of a little infant for a few months. I intend on cherishing all my time with him.

Every Baby?

"Every baby is just like that..." said our pediatrician and many friends. I beg to differ.

Okay, I will admit, I imagined that our baby would be all smiles and barely any tears. Of course, that was an unrealistic fantasy : ) But the screams from BC were not just "normal baby cries." They were different.

I have often heard the generic term "colic" in reference to crying and refluxy babies. Some friends told me that every baby has colic. I began to research what colic really is. Yes, all babies cry, but do all babies really have colic?

According to Mayo Clinic, true colic is:

If your baby cries about the same time each day and nothing you do seems to offer comfort, your baby may have colic. Colic is often defined as crying more than three hours a day, three days a week for more than three weeks in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby. What is most important for the diagnosis is sustained crying in an otherwise healthy baby for a regular period of the day lasting for several weeks.

That sounded familiar. I kept reading.

Fussing and crying are normal for infants, and a fussy baby doesn't necessarily have colic. In an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby, signs of colic include:

• Predictable crying episodes. A baby who has colic often cries about the same time every day, usually in the late afternoon or evening. Colic episodes may last from a few minutes to three hours or more on any given day. The crying usually begins suddenly and for no clear reason. Your baby may have a bowel movement or pass gas near the end of the colic episode.
• Intense or inconsolable crying. Colic crying is intense and often high pitched. Your baby's face may flush, and he or she is extremely difficult — if not impossible — to comfort.
• Posture changes. Curled up legs, clenched fists and tensed abdominal muscles are common during colic episodes.

I texted my Heroic Husband, "BC is textbook colic."

Inconsolable crying (from 4:00pm until bedtime, every day); intense, high pitched screams (BC's screams actually make your ears ring); flushed face (as in fire hydrant red); nearly impossible to comfort (food and exercise ball sometimes help); curled legs, clenched fists, and a tense, enlarged belly - these fit BC to a "T."

The cause of colic is unknown. Researchers have explored a number of possibilities, including allergies, lactose intolerance, an immature digestive system, maternal anxiety, and differences in the way a baby is fed or comforted. Yet it's still unclear why some babies have colic and others don't.

Without a "reason" behind the colic, I decided to try my best to alleviate as much of BC's anguish as I could.

I knew BC was having some gastric distress. I began researching if the foods I eat effect his digestion. The inquiry was inconclusive. Many say yes, others maybe, some no. Thus, I began to experiment. My Marvelous Mother got me started on the brown rice elimination diet. There are very few people who are allergic to brown rice. For a few days, all I ate was brown rice, steamed  carrots and green beans, and apples. BC still screamed a lot, but HH and I could tell a little difference. BC slept better at night, because he did not have as much gas in his system.

After a few days, I slowly began adding in foods, evaluating them, and either keeping them in my diet, or eliminating them again.

I was worried about lettuce. Romaine is one of my favorite foods. (Believe it or not, I was one of the only two-year olds who would go to a restaurant, ignore the kid's menu, and ask for a side salad with the dressing on the side.) Some of HH's close relatives have Crohn's disease. Leafy greens hurt their stomachs. I hoped BC was not sensitive to greens. Thankfully, he was not.

After much trial and error, I began to make my own list of  foods that I suspected were giving BC trouble.

**Once again, all of the online lists contradict each other. These foods are what do not work for BC and me. Every baby is different; every mother is different.**

 Beans (black-eyed peas have not given any trouble)
*Beets
Berries (blueberries, etc.)
*Celery
Citrus Fruit (grapefruit, pineapple, kiwi)
Cucumber
*Dried Fruit (prunes, dates, etc.)
*Eggs
Grapes
Nuts (peanuts, almonds, etc.)
*Soy Protein Powder (however, soy nuts and soy nut butter seem to be okay)

I am still experimenting with food. Only five foods from my suspect list have continued to effect BC. As his digestive system matures, and he grows, foods that I thought gave him trouble, no longer seem to hurt him. At eight weeks, I am going to try those five really troublesome foods again.

As a mother of a true-blue colicky baby, I want to encourage other mothers. It will get better. Typically, at three to four months colic goes away. At six weeks, there is a huge improvement. For some, it will take longer, others, less time. Do not get frustrated with your baby. They have no idea why they are crying. Comfort them as much as you can. Bouncing on an exercise ball worked wonders for BC. Holding BC in my arms and singing when he would "freak out" did not appear to relieve the anguish he was in, but it let him know I was there, and that I loved him. It is not easy. I wanted to - and did - cry myself. Your husband is a great support. When HH comes home from work, he watches/bounces BC for me while I finally have time to brush my teeth : )

BC is six weeks old now. At four weeks, he changed dramatically. He went from a text-book colicky baby, to a happy, wiggly, smiling baby 95% of the time. He still cries, and he does have "freak-out moments, but they are fewer and farther between.

Although every baby cries, not every baby is colicky. Do your own research, experiment with food, and try to figure out what your baby needs. And most importantly, even at 3:30am, when your baby will not be consoled, continue to praise the Lord for the little blessing in your arms.

Psalms 139:14
I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.

Learning Curve

While I was pregnant, I read hundreds of articles and blogs about "the best products for babies" and "baby essentials." There were also tons of "hospital packing lists." Almost every single list I read contradicted the others. I finally decided to to make my own list - taking the best ideas from each list.

Now that BC is a month (can you believe that?!) old, I have decided to share some of the products and tips I found helpful. This is by no means the "complete essentials" list - and I would not recommend just taking these things to the hospital. These are just some items I did not realize I would need as a new momma.

For the Hospital

I over packed - big time. Partially, it was not my fault. I assumed I would be in labor for at least 12 hours. That is what everyone told me. I was not though - my iPod dock was not necessary; exercise ball, not necessary. However, if I had a long labor, they might have been nice to have.

Several bloggers wrote that you should bring your own cute hospital gown with you. There are multiple patterns on Pinterest if you want to make your own. I admit, the hospital gowns provided are enormous and ugly - but remember why you are in the hospital - to give birth to a baby. I promise you, whatever you are wearing during birth is going to get dirty. And after birth, you are so enamored by the little life in your hands, what you are wearing is last on your mind - at least it was last on mine. I brought some sweat pants, camisoles, and jackets to wear on the days after I delivered - but on that firs day, I wore my hospital gown loud and proud.

You really do not need anything for your baby. Our wonderful hospital provided everything we needed - except one item - baby fingernail clippers. BC's fingernails were so long and jagged. He scratched his face up on day 1. Thankfully, I had his fingernail clippers already in the diaper bag, so we were able to trim them. Bringing something for your baby to go home in is fun to do - but not essential : ) I had a "going home" outfit for BC, but we decided not to use it in the end (more on that later).

To keep BC from scratching himself,
we had to fold down the scratch mittens on his shirt.

(This paragraph is just for the ladies.) I read on multiple blogs not to wear the hospital's disposable underwear or use their beyond super pads. I disagree with those people. You are bleeding. You are sore. Your core and organs are all out of place. Those enormous pads are not the most comfortable or attractive thing in the world, but I would much rather wear one than be worrying about leaking. The hospital underwear, yes are big and weird, but they keep those pads in place, allow for ice packs, and you can thrown them away when they get dirty. One new mother wrote that she did not want to wear the hospital unmentionables because they made her feel "unsexy." I just gave birth. Feeling "sexy" was just not on my priority list. Did I want to look ugly, no. I fixed my hair, and put on some lip gloss, but there were just more important things to do than worry about feeling "sexy" - like holding my sweet newborn. So ladies, I personally recommend using what the hospital gives you. By the time you go home, the bleeding has decreased a lot. By all means, make yourself as "sexy" as you want to then, but remember, especially at the hospital, what is most important - that sweet little life.

HH holding BC on a nursing pillow.

I know I am not as picky as many people, but my hospital blankets and pillows were perfectly fine. I would recommend bringing your nursing pillow - they are nice to have - but as far as a bed pillow, I was satisfied with what was provided. My hospital provided soap, but not shampoo. Thus, I used their soap, but was glad I brought my own hair care products.

Several articles said not to take a bath after giving birth, especially if you have sutures. My labor and delivery nurse told me differently. She said to take a warm sitz bath 2-3 times a day. Now, talk to your doctor before doing this, but I DO recommend the sitz bath - and yes, I had sutures. My L&D nurse actually had me in a sitz bath while the nurses finished taking all of BC's vitals. You only want to sit for 10-15 minutes. The warm water feels so good on your sore body. I noticed that my soreness decreased every time I took a sitz bath. At the hospital, I took 2 a day; at home, 1 a day. By the time BC turned 1 week old, I was no longer sore.

My wonderful hospital provided 3 meals a day for me and 1 meal total for my Heroic Husband. As a salt sensitive, almost vegetarian, the hospital food was not exactly what my body needed. However, I enjoyed the salads, while HH enjoyed the meat. I brought some easy meals for myself - canned fruit, bread, peanut butter, almond milk, and soy protein powder. Everyone stayed nourished.

Baby Products

First of all - baby clothes are not one size fit all - and there is a huge difference between the newborn size and the 0-3 month size. I had read that there was no sense in getting newborn clothes - just go for the 0-3 month - and that is what I did. Big mistake. When HH and I were ready to go home, we pulled out BC's "going home" outfit and put it on our little baby. My adorable 0-3 month outfit swallowed poor BC. That size is not for "0 month" babies. We had to make a stop at Target to buy newborn size clothes, more scratch mittens, and more baby beanies (2 other things that are nice to have). The same logic goes for diapers - newborn diapers are good to have. At 1 month, we are still in our newborn clothes - close to the next size - but not there yet. (Pacifiers are also the same way. I recommend the Nuk 0-2 month pacifier. They are teeny tiny for newborn mouths.)

Although I ended up not taking my exercise ball to the hospital, I have used it everyday since we got home. BC loves to be in motion and was colicky at night during the first month. When BC gets fussy, I hold him and bounce on the ball. Almost every time, he quiets down - and I get a little exercise at the same time. It is great.

Tips and Tricks

When I was pregnant, I thought that once BC was here, I would have plenty of time to do everything. Now that BC is here, I know that assumption is false. I barely have time to brush my teeth in the morning, let alone find time to deep clean a house and cook 3 meals a day. For my family's sanity and HH's job, I have to keep a clean and organized house. And we do have to eat. So, I made my own chore list. I have a few things that I try and get finished before HH comes home for lunch - like morning dishes, kitchen and bathroom counters wiped, a load of laundry started, and the bed made. At night, I do the dishes again, tidy up all the clutter that has accumulated, and a quite floor sweep. I also have a list of once a week chores. I try and get one chore completed a day. My house may not be spotless and completely cleaned every day, but it is clean and organized. And I get to spend lots of precious time playing with my baby.

Stretch marks... I have heard horror stories about them.  At the beginning of my pregnancy, I purchased a rather pricey stretch mark prevention oil to rub on my growing belly.  When I ran out, about halfway through the pregnancy, on a whim, I purchased an inexpensive Johnson and Johnson shea and cocoa butter oil.  It worked great!  I did not get a single stretch mark.  I have continued to put the oil on my stomach postpartum to help my skin "refirm."  I cannot say for sure it is helping, but my belly is firmer and super smooth!

This trick, I learned from a lactation consultant, who has been so very helpful. To nurse, sit in a chair with low armrests - sit up straight - and put a stool under your feet. Then, I put BC on top of a nursing pillow in my lap. It makes nursing so much easier and comfortable.

I have tons of other baby products and tips swirling around in my brain right now, but these are the main things I wanted to share.

Always remember, EVERY baby is DIFFERENT and EVERY mother is DIFFERENT. What works for BC and me may not work for you. The important thing is to keep trying and experimenting - find the right balance for you, your baby, and your family.

Also, your baby will never be a newborn again. The time I have right now with my little boy will be gone in the blink of an eye - BC is already growing out of newborn stuff! Cherish every moment.