Choices

We are unique creatures. God has given us the ability to choose. Sometimes we make good choices. Many times we make bad choices. Yes, God is sovereign, but we still have human responsibility and the capacity to make choices. (I know that sounds contrary. Our little, finite minds cannot fully comprehend those principles. But that is what the Bible teaches.)

It is fascinating to me to watch BC learn about his choices and the results of those choices. He has discovered that he loves wires, electrical outlets, and the toilet. Now, my Marvelous Mother wisely told me and my Heroic Husband to say "yes" as often (or more) than we say "no." We try to think of creative ways to let BC know if he is doing something wrong. However, when safety is involved, we say "no."

MM cued me in on an interesting personality trait in BC. He seeks approval. He is a pleaser. This surprised me, because he tends to throw a fit when we tell him not to chew on the computer wires. But as I mulled over what MM said, it rang true. He throws a fit because he senses that we are upset with him. This has helped me to instruct BC in a more constructive way—and he is catching on! For example, when he pulls up on the toilet, I tell him no, in a calm voice. Then, I ask him to come to me. When he crawls to me, I praise him over and over, give him a bear hug, and cover him with kisses. He giggles and smiles so big. He knows that he has made the right choice to let go of the toilet and come to me. Does he do this every time? Unfortunately, no. Even though he is a precious, little baby, he is still a sinful, human being.

Proverbs 22:6

Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

When I think of the word "choice," my mind automatically jumps to the abortion debate. People who are "pro-choice," like to say that "the choice over when and whether to have children is central to a woman's independence and ability to determine her future."

Jeremiah 1:5a

I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born.

Ephesians 1:4-6

For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with in the Beloved.

James 1:18

By His own choice, He gave us a new birth by the message of truth so that we would be the firstfruits of His creatures.

Last week, there was a lot of controversy over President Obama's remarks in Rhode Island. "Sometimes, someone, usually Mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. That's not a choice we want Americans to make."

Albert Mohler, President of Southern Seminary, made the best comments on this issue.

"Taken just at face value, it appears that the President said that we don't, as Americans, want American women to make the choice to stay home with their children. But even if that's not exactly what the President meant to say, his comments in terms of the larger context are if anything equally distressing, because the President here seems to hold out a norm for American women that involves them giving their primary attention at every point of their adult lives to their professional life. And furthermore to have the backdrop of a government support for preschool and day care programs so that they would not have to face any pressure to go home and stay with the children; thus exiting the workforce only later to reenter it with a harm to the wage curve."

"In the President's understanding, what we face is a problem of inequality, and the only way to solve that problem of inequality is to create a government program of expanded preschool and day care so that women would choose that option and not have to leave the workforce—thus eliminating the inequality. But as Mollie Hemingway and many other writers have pointed out, this is an inequality that is actually factored in by these women in terms of their own calculation of what they want, of what they desire, of what they believe is their calling in life."

What women want and desire...

As I thought about this, the "pro-choice vs. pro life," "going back to work vs. staying at home," etc. arguments took a new turn in my mind. What are the two things these issues have in common? Children and women's choices. Women want what they want. They want children, but only on their time table and at their convenience. They want to be equal with men—and men work—thus women want to work.

What a selfish attitude.

What about the CHILDREN? Where do their wants and needs come into play?

When women "are ready," they want to have their own biological children so desperately. We ignore orphans who do not have a mother at all. Women then put their children into someone else's care, so they can go back to their own life. Women work all day, come home exhausted, and want a fun "girls night out." So once again, someone is hired to watch the kids while women "enjoy" themselves.

What about the CHILDREN?

What about the FAMILY?

I am so thankful that my Marvelous Mother "chose" to stayed home with me and my Brave Brother—and
not just until we were old enough for "preschool." First of all, we did not go to preschool. MM taught us everything we needed to know before kindergarten. Secondly, MM stayed home until both us graduated from high school and were in college. Believe it or not, babies are not the only ones who need parents. Elementary children, middle schoolers, and high schoolers NEED their parents.

On an average weekday, according to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, parents spend less than two hours of their day "caring for and helping household children."

"Primary childcare activities include time spent providing physical care; playing with children; reading to children; assistance with homework; attending children's events; taking care of children's health needs; and dropping off, picking up, and waiting for children. Passive childcare done as a primary activity (such as 'keeping an eye on my son while he swam in the pool') also is included."

On average, parents spend more than double the amount of time they spend with their children doing leisure activities, such as socializing, watching television, participating in sports, exercise, and recreation.

These statistics break my heart.

Albert Mohler went on to say,

"One final note of interesting analysis on this story, it turns out when you look at the media and the blogosphere that the people who seem to be most angry at President Obama for these comments are not men who are saying 'we want our wives to stay at home,' but rather women who say 'the President has trampled on our own free moral choice, our own sense of calling.'"

Women are upset with Obama for trampling THEIR choice.

Why are these choices all about the women?

What about the CHILDREN.

The fact is, we do not really care about children.

In the last few weeks, I have heard multiple news articles about "population control." In fact, Albert Mohler discusses one of these articles in the same podcast.

"And there's something deeply tragic and sad about a movement that says the way to address the problem of the environment is to reduce the number of babies born into it. For far too many millions of people on the secular left, they still believe salvation is found in a pill—most particularly in a birth control pill."

What about the CHILDREN?

Did you know that on average, 100,000 children die of hunger related diseases every week?

Let that statistic sink in for a moment.

While we are concerned about our choices, babies (labeled as "fetuses") are being snuffed out; children are dying of preventable illnesses. While women are focused on "birth control salvation," children are dying without every hearing the name of Jesus Christ—the only salvation that truly matters.

Luke 18:15-17

Some people were even bringing infants to Him so He might touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. Jesus, however, invited them: "Let the little children come to Me, and don't stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

I have recently been faced with several hard facts. I realized that at times, I tend to act like I care more about exercise and my personal self image than the people whom I love most. While this could not be farther from the truth, my actions sometimes make this claim seem true. What a conviction. I have acted like I am more concerned with MY appearance, MY image, MY personal feelings than my family, friends, and most importantly, my Lord and Savior.

I have also faced the fact that as a selfish human, I am not doing my part in the church—and I do not mean a church congregation. I mean the church of Jesus Christ—as in the bride of Christ—as in worldwide—as in the countless number who are being persecuted (and killed) for their faith. I am not doing my part to uphold the orphans that are tossed aside.

What about the CHILDREN?

How can my CHOICES go to benefit them? How can my CHOICES stop being about ME? How can my CHOICES instead be about HIM and THEM?

John 15:16a

"You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain..."

I challenge you to watch this video. It is only two minutes long. I challenge you to ask God to show you where your choices are about YOU. I challenge you to change those choices and make them about HIM and THEM.

Romans 8:16-17

The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God's children, and if children, also heirs—heirs of God and coheirs with Christ—seeing that we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

Just As I Am

One of my favorite hymns is Just As I Am by Charlotte Elliott.  Here are two verses that I especially love.

Just as I am, Thy love unknown
Hath broken every barrier down;
Now, to be Thine, yea, Thine alone,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, of that free love
The breadth, length, depth, and height to prove,
Here for a season, then above,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

One question that I hear rather frequently is "When are you going back to work?"
My response - "I am already working full time.  I am just a mom."

Now, I promise, I am not entering the debate about whether women should stay at home full time or not.  I have friends who are stay-at-home moms and friends who work outside of the home.  As I have blogged about in the past, it is simply mine and my Heroic Husband's personal opinion that the wife should be in the home.  But why does everyone seem to think that I need to go back to work outside of my little home?

Someone posted a blog a few weeks ago.  It posed the question, "Is being a stay-at-home mom enough?  Is just being at home with my children today satisfactory?"

This past week, Emma Watson stormed the U.N. with the HeforShe campaign, calling for "gender equality that brings together one half of humanity in support of the other of humanity, for the entirety of humanity."

I became curious about the history of the feminist movement, so I did some research.  Three of the key feminist leaders in the United States of America were Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucy Stone, and Susan B. Anthony.  According to one article, "Women's rights movements are primarily concerned with making the political, social, and economic status of women equal to that of men and with establishing legislative safeguards against discrimination on the basis of gender."

I am all for women not be discriminated against, simply because they are female.  I definitely support women being able to vote.  But, I do not want to be equal with a man.  I am a WOman.  I am weaker.  I am more emotional.  I have a different role.  This is intentional.  God designed women to be different than men.  The old saying, "opposites attract," is 100% true.  My Heroic Husband is the opposite of me.  We complement each other.

Genesis 2:18
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper as his complement." 

Here are some factoids about the leading feminists:

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

• When she married Henry Stanton in 1840, they omitted the word "obey" from their marriage vows.
•  She was a leader in promoting women's rights, especially divorce and the right to vote.
•  "Along with numerous articles on the subject of women and religion, Cady Stanton published the Woman's Bible (1895, 1898), in which she voiced her belief in a secular state and urged women to recognize how religious orthodoxy and masculine theology obstructed their chances to achieve self-sovereignty."

Lucy Stone

• When she married Henry Blackwell, they also omitted any suggestion of wifely obedience.
• She protested marital law and refused to adopt her husband's last name. "A wife should no more take her husband's name than he should hers.  My name is my identity and must not be lost." 
• She was ex-communicated from her Congregationalist Church after she spoke on the inaccuracies of Greek and Latin translations that led to the Bible’s demeaning of women. 

 Susan B. Anthony

• She was arrested for voting illegally.  She was fined $100, but she never paid.
• "She cut her hair and wore the bloomer costume for a year before ridicule convinced her that this radical dress detracted from the other causes she supported." 
• She attacked prostitution in a speech, calling for equality in marriage, in the workplace, and at the ballot box to eliminate the need for women to go on the streets.

We are taught to idolize these women.  We are told to look up to them.  I am going to look up to God and His Word though.

Ephesians 5:22-23
Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.


Ephesians 5:25-26
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 

Mark 10:5-9
But Jesus told them, "He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts.  But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two will become one flesh.  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate."

1 Corinthians 8:6
...yet for us there is one God, the Father.  All things are from Him, and we exist for Him.  And there is one Lord, Jesus Christ.  All things are through Him, and we exist through Him.

2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

Romans 13:1-2
Everyone must submit to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist are instituted by God.  So then, the one who resists the authority is opposing God’s command, and those who oppose it will bring judgment on themselves.

The feminist movement was not all bad.  I am very thankful that I have the right to vote.  I am glad that when I did work outside the home, I was paid the same as my associates.  But we must remember that God created women differently.  He formed woman out of man.  He placed man ahead of woman.  The man is supposed to love and lead his wife as Christ loves and leads His church, His bride.  Women are to love, honor, respect, obey, and support their husbands as she does Christ.

I may just be a stay-at-home wife and mother, but I happy and content.  I do not need to be a man.  I do not need humanity to tell me I am just as good as a man.  God designed me with a specific purpose - a woman, a wife, a mother.  There are an infinite amount of things that I am able to do that HH cannot.

HH is busy at work as I type this.  BC just woke up from his nap.  He is sitting in my lap and trying to help me type.  In a minute, I am going to cuddle with him, feed him, and play with him.  Although the world may think that I am unhappy in my little home, I assure you, I am joyous.  The breadth, length, depth, and height of my love for my  little family is all that I need.

Is just being a stay-at-home mom enough?  Yes... yes it is.

Just my sweet little family enjoying God's magnificent creation

Broken Hearted

When I was a little girl, I remember a lapel pin that my Fabulous Father wore every day to work. It was so tiny. It fascinated my little mind. One day, I asked FF what it meant. "This I how big a baby's feet are ten weeks after conception," he told me. "Wow! My little fingernail is bigger."

BC at 28 Weeks post conception - BC at 15 Weeks post birth

This past week, I read an article from The New York Times. The title was "I Couldn’t Turn My Abortion Into Art." It broke my heart.

"Fifteen years later, happily coupled with a wonderful man, I gave birth to my first daughter; I now have two. I don’t wish I had a 20-year-old. I didn’t want that baby, with that man. Abortion rights, yes, I’ll always support them, but even all these years later, I wish the motto wasn’t 'Never again,' but 'Avoid this if there’s any way you possibly can, even if it’s legal, because it’s awful.' 

I wish that someone had alerted me to the harshness of the experience, acknowledged the layers of regret that built and fell away as the months and years passed. I want my daughters to have the option of safe and legal abortion, of course. I just don’t want them to have to use it." 

Years later, after aborting her first child, the writer sees how awful the act was. She sees that the little life she terminated would be an adult now. She wishes that others knew the "harshness of the experience." She desires that the two daughters she did "keep" would never have abortions themselves.

And yet, she still wants her daughters to "have the option" to legally snuff out precious lives.

I have read some pretty outrageous "responses" to the recent Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision, which allows religious organizations the option not to offer their employees the four forms of abortion related birth control for free. 

"How can you oppose abortion but support the death penalty? Is life only sacred when in the womb?" 

A baby inside the womb is not perfect. He has a sin nature just like me and you. However, he does not know the difference between right and wrong. You cannot spoil a newborn. When BC cried a few months ago, I accommodated him. He cried to be picked up, not because he was spoiled, but because he needed to be picked up. Now that BC is four months old, he has learned that if does something, like cry, something else will happen, like being picked up. This is firstly a cognitive skill - cause and effect. However, it shows the sin nature of man. When I lay him down for bed, he cries. He is not hurt; he just does not want to go to sleep. For the most part, when a criminal is put on death row, they have done something wrong. We are responsible for our actions, there are consequences for our actions, and there must be punishment for our actions.

Jesus died on the cross for all of our sinful actions. If you believe that Jesus Christ, God's one and only Son, died for you, then you will not have to spend eternity being punished. He has taken that away. However, here on earth, we still must deal with the consequences of our actions.

Someone else wrote: 

"It's sick to me that people on this planet think that having rights means having the right to take away someone else's rights. Having rights means you have a right to live your life. Having rights doesn't mean you have a right to tell other people how to live."

 Religious organizations fighting for the option not to provide free birth control is not taking away anyone's "rights." Forcing a religious organization to provide something that is contrary to their beliefs, however, is taking away rights. In America, we want women to have "options," but not religious organizations.

As Suzanne Nikont said: 

"If you want your boss out of your sex life, don't ask them to spend their money, either personal or corporate, to pay for it. You have the option to use one of the covered options." 

One sarcastic person wrote: 

"Before there was birth control, no one had sex." 

Another person wrote:

"Friendly reminder that the single best way to reduce abortions is to make birth control more accessible and affordable." 

Actually, the best ways to reduce abortions are (a) to view "fetuses" as children and (b) not to have sex apart from the way God designed it. God designed sex to be a union between a husband and a wife. Before there was birth control, people still had sex (they just got married first). 

Genesis 1:27-28 So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female. God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth." 

Genesis 2:24-25 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame. 

This person made me the saddest. 

"Young women want to have sex. They will have sex. There's nothing wrong with that. We should help them do it safely."

As a young woman, I am proud to say that I did save myself for my Heroic Husband. I am also proud to say that HH saved himself for me. 

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor. 

The word for sexual immorality is porneia. This Greek word means "illicit sexual intercourse - adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc."

Fornication means "consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other."

There is something wrong with sex outside of God's design. It is wrong. But there is forgiveness for all sins. 

John 3:16-18 "For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. Anyone who believes in Him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the One and Only Sop of God."

I praise God that I was not on abortifacient birth controls.
If I had been, this precious little boy would not be in my arms today.

Time

Where has the time gone? It is the middle of summer - little BC is almost four months old - my Heroic Husband and I have been living in SET for six months - I still have not put up the baby mobile - it has been months since I last sat down to write a blog. Where has the time gone?!

 

This morning, at our 2:30am feeding - no, BC does not sleep through the night yet, but I will take one middle of the night feeding over four - I read in my Bible Study:

"It is good in the morning to fix upon work for the day, with submission to Providence, for we know not what a day may bring forth." - Matthew Henry

This is very applicable to my life right now.

Yesterday, HH asked me to do a few things for him while he was at work. I told him that I would do them, and I would try to have them completed by lunch, but could not make any promises. My days cannot be planned completely down to a "T."

I love being an at-home mom, and my day revolves around just that - being a mom. BC has changed so much in the last few months! I admit, although I cherished the early days, I am glad the colicky days are behind us. I usually get to brush my teeth before lunch now : ) But BC still has fussy days. He is a very happy baby 90% of the time - but we do have that rather unhappy 10% too. We have days, like today, where all BC wants to do is sleep. We also have days like yesterday, where BC goes the entire day refusing to take a nap, unless he is on my lap.

I love to make lists and have a schedule. Yes, I was "that kid" who had a schedule to follow at my birthday parties. Often, I get pretty upset when my day deviates from my schedule. God has really been breaking me of this since BC was born. I just cannot physically stick to my lists. HH, BC, and I would all be miserable.

I wrote a while back about my plan to get one chore a day completed. That is still my goal. Some days, that chore is simply getting all the dishes washed before HH comes home from work. Other days, I get multiple chores done.

Lots of people have asked why I do not "go out" very often without BC (I have only left him three times in the last four months). Well, for one thing, as a nursing mom, someone is calling for me every two hours : ) But even more so, I love being BC's mom. I love being with him. I love being able to (or at least trying to) meet his needs. I am sure I could "make time" to go out, but I really do not want to. HH and I love spending our time as a family unit. We love to go to a nearby park and run together. We love to go grocery shopping together. We love to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie together.  Do I need "a break" sometimes? Sure. But I do not need a break from being BC's mom. My "breaks" consist of baby play-mat time, while I exercise nearby. Nap times, when I get to run around and do as many things as I possibly can, are also great breaks. Listening to BC "tell" HH all about his day while I whip up some dinner, is probably my favorite break.

God gave me the amazing job of being BC's mom. And I will only be the mom of a little infant for a few months. I intend on cherishing all my time with him.

Middle of the Night Moments

It is 11:51pm. My Heroic Husband and I have been trying to get our active little boy to bed for nearly two hours. This is going to be a long night.

Am I complaining though? Absolutely not. These middle of the night moments are becoming some of my favorite times with little BC.

I admit - the first few nights were rough. We were jolted awake by BC's very manly, ear-piercing, non-newborn-like cry every 45 minutes. We walked, bounced, fed, sung...all night long. During those sleepless nights, HH and I reminded each other that our little newborn was confused and just getting used to life outside the womb.

Since I was in college, I have dedicated the first hour or two of my mornings to the Lord for my personal Bible Study time. However, once BC is awake for the day, I have found it is impossible to set that time apart. It seems as if every time I sit down to read my Bible, BC wakes up from his morning nap.

A few days ago, I told my Marvelous Mother my problem. She responded, "When I had babies, and could not find time for Bible Study, I told God that the first thing I would read was His Word. Thus, if it was one of 'those' days where there was no down time at all, and I did not get to my Bible Study, I did not get to read anything like fun books, email, magazines, etc. either."

Ooohhh... That struck home for me. I was not finding time for my Bible Study, but I was caught up on Facebook. I was all over Instagram. My baby pin board on Pinterest was exploding. But my Bible was still closed. I decided to tell the same thing to God - His Word would come first.

I have found that the best time for Bible Study is during the middle of the night. BC "usually" wakes up about every 2-3 hours for food. While BC nurses - which is a sweet time for me to bond with boy - I read God's Word.

This year, I am going through the Bible using the Austin Stone's REAP reading plan. REAP stands for Read, Examine, Apply, Pray.

Last week I was reading in Exodus.Exodus 36:3b-5

Meanwhile, the people continued to bring freewill offerings morning after morning. Then all the craftsmen who were doing all the work for the sanctuary came one by one from the work they were doing and said to Moses, “The people are bringing more than is needed for the construction of the work the LORD commanded to be done.”

My Thoughts
How many people could the church reach with the gospel if we brought so much morning after morning that the leaders have to say "stop giving"?

I have also been reading through John.

John 16:20-22
"I assure you: You will weep and wail, but the world will rejoice. You will become sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy. When a woman is in labor she has pain because her time has come. But when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the suffering because of the joy that a person has been born into the world. So you also have sorrow now. But I will see you again. Your hearts will rejoice, and no one will rob you of your joy."

My Thoughts
They way Jesus describes His burial and ascension - as a woman having a baby - is perfect! I love it - and right now, I can totally relate.

I just started Psalms this week.

Psalms 3:3
But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts up my head.

My Thoughts
I see this verse differently now. "The One who lifts up my head." This reminds me of little BC - and his head. Although he is strong, and can almost hold his head up by himself, he still loses control of it sometimes. We have to manually lift it up. When he is trying to creep and gets frustrated, we have to lift his head and encourage him - just as God lifts us up.

I have been writing this blog throughout the night - and yes, I did my Bible Study first. It is now 7:30am. BC has just drifted back to sleep after a feeding. HH is peacefully sleeping by my side. The sun rose a little while ago - a beautiful pink glow filled the sky. Yes, I am tired, but spending these moments holding my precious son, filling my heart with God's Word, and praying to my Heavenly Father is exactly what I need. As Mary treasured her middle of the night moments when Christ was born (Luke 2:19), I too choose to treasure these moments. No matter how exhausted I get or how loud BC becomes, these precious moments will soon be gone. Lord, help me to  cherish every single minute of my middle of the night moments.

That Morning

In my last post, I "debunked" several home "labor inducers." However, I now know what to do if you want to jump start labor - step aerobics. Just kidding! But I did enjoy 45 minutes of stepping, hours before I went into labor. 

I promise not to give all the nitty gritty of that morning; just the family-friendly facts. 

At 4:45am on Tuesday morning, I woke up to use the restroom - at 39 weeks pregnant, that seemed pretty normal to me. When I got back into bed, I felt some light cramping. I thought to myself, "Hhhmmm... I have not felt that before. I should watch that." I rolled over and felt a "pop" (I'll let you determine what that was : ) I went back to the restroom thinking, "THAT was definitely different! We may be having a baby today!"

I decided I should fill my Heroic Husband in on the latest developments. After telling him we might be meeting BC soon, we agreed that he should get some more sleep, while I called my Marvelous Mother and got a protein snack. 

So, at 5:00am, while HH rolled over to catch a few more ZZZs, I called MM. My Phenomenal Parents had been waiting for the "Baby Call." I told MM about the cramps and "pop." She agreed that the labor process had begun. And she was SO excited!!! MM told me to start timing my contractions as she and my Faithful Father started to get ready for the drive to our town. 

I started my timer and noticed the the contractions were getting more painful. As the timer counted, I went to the kitchen to make my soy shake. By the time the shake was ready (which only takes about 3 minutes), my contractions had become so hard that the thought of drinking the shake was repulsive. I looked my my timer - the contractions were 2 minutes apart. 

I made it back to our bedroom, told HH, who immediately sprang out of bed, and called MM, who agreed with HH - it was TIME to go to the hospital. 

By 5:30am, we were in route - and I was in a lot of pain. HH got to turn his emergency flashers on as we raced to the hospital. 

A little before 6:00am, we arrived at the hospital - walked inside - went upstairs - and were told we were in the wrong building (NOTE - we were following directions given to us the week before by someone from the hospital). I thought I would cry. Down we went - and drove to the correct building.

We got to the maternity ward a little after 6:00am. At the registration desk, the nurse asked who my doctor was. I weakly answered, "Dr. B." She began to go through some papers, and then said, "He is not scheduled to deliver today." I looked at HH, who responded, "No, we are not here for a C-section or inducement. She is in REAL LABOR!!!" Suddenly, the nurse started telling directions to the rest of the staff. As I look back, it was pretty hilarious!

In no time at all, they had me in a hospital gown and strapped to a bed. They began the normal "are you really in labor" checks - and yes... I was REALLY in labor. My water had broken, and in 2 hours, I had gone from 2 cm dilated to 6 cm. 

The nurses began hooking up all the needles and wires. Then... they brought in a mound of paperwork. HH took all the papers he was allowed to fill out for me. The nurses started asking me hundreds of questions about the remaining pages. I do not remember much - but I do remember thinking "At this moment, I have no idea what my Social Security number is" and "Do I have a living will? Not yet? Why? Am I going to die? I do not think labor is 'that' bad." At first, the nurses were asking me constant questions. They finally realized that if they watched my contractions and asked when I was not having one, I answered more coherently. 

Around 7:00am, they wheeled me into my Labor and Delivery room, got me into my new bed, and hooked my IVs up. My L&D nurse came in - and she was wonderful. They told me Dr. B. was coming. When he got there, he came to check on me. He said he would stay close. 

Sometime after that, I am not sure when, my eyes were closed, my contractions began to be constant - there was never a "break." My desire was to have as natural a labor as possible - but BC's and my health came first. I knew that as tired as I was, pushing was going to be difficult - especially with the constant pain. I asked HH if I could have a little medication in my IV. He immediately asked the nurse to get some. Before she gave it to me though, they checked my "progress." I was at 9 cm. She ran to get Dr. B. He said to put the medicine in my IV quickly - it was just about time for a baby! 

Whether the medicine really helped with the pain, I do not know, but it helped settle my mind - and I was able to push out a sweet 7 pound 13 ounce baby boy at 8:02am!!!!!

One of the happiest moments of my life was hearing HH scream out, "It's a boy! Hello BC!!!" And then little BC gave a boisterous response. Oh be still my heart. It was the most amazing moment. HH cut the umbilical cord and brought BC to me for some skin to skin contact - and a first meal. HH sat down on the side of my bed - and we just stared at our precious little miracle. Our little family was together - and it was amazing. 

Today, on BC's 2 week birthday, I am looking down on him in my arms. He just finished breakfast and is happily sleeping for a few more minutes before he takes on the day. Thank You Lord. Thank You oh so much. 

Psalms 127:3

Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, children, a reward.

Was pregnancy all roses and sunshine? No. Was giving birth a pain-free event? No. But as I think back, carrying my son was one of the most joyful periods of my life. Giving birth to BC has become one of most treasured memories. 

Would I go through it all again? In a heartbeat : )

Super Nesting

On this rather chilly - frigid would probably be a more appropriate adjective - I am  officially 38 weeks pregnant.  BC has been "headed" in the right direction since December - and I have been slightly dilated for two weeks.  We have a doctor's appointment later today to find out our "progress."

At 36 weeks, when the doctor said I was dilated 1 centimeter, my to-do list exploded.  My house was clean, and the baby's room was just about ready - but suddenly, all of that was not quite good enough.  For the past two weeks, I have been a crazy, super nester.  My Marvelous Mother came down for a few days to help - and my Heroic Husband has been assisting in every way possible.  It feels so relieving to almost have everything "just right" - although I know deep down that my list will never be "completely" checked off : )

As part of my Bible Study, I have been reading through the gospel of Luke.  The story of Martha and Mary, from Luke 10, caught me.

While they were traveling, [Jesus] entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home.  She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said.  But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  So tell her to give me a hand.”  The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”

ONE thing is necessary.  Yes, I feel better that the tops of my doors are cleaned, but was it necessary?  Have I let other things get in the way and distract me from what is necessary? 
Lord, I know that I am viewing an abundance of "things" as "necessary" right now - but please help me to focus on what is truly NECESSARY.

Working on BC's nursery